Lately I’ve been thinking about my future goals and how I want to evolve during my career. For some reason, and not by coincidence, I’ve been dealing with the well-known “impostor syndrome.” I feel like I’m not good enough, that I don’t deserve the things I’ve achieved. This is a common feeling among high-achievers, and it’s something that I’ve been struggling with for a while.
The AI does not help, to be honest. Being able to use it in almost every context has made me feel that the knowledge I’ve built over the years is not as valuable as it used to be. I feel like I’m not learning anything new, and that I’m just repeating the same things over and over again. This is a dangerous mindset, and it’s something that I need to overcome. In the same way, I discovered that I’ve been relying on AI even for the simplest, most trivial tasks, even for simple decision-making. That made me realize the dependency I’ve created and how it’s affecting my ability to think critically and make decisions on my own. I need to find a balance between using AI as a tool to enhance my capabilities and not letting it take over my thinking process.
There’s a YouTube channel I’ve followed for a couple of years, jvscholz. His videos are not about minimalism or the simple life, but for some reason, his way of expressing himself and the way he lives has made me think about the meaning of it. I don’t want to be a minimalist, but I do want to simplify my life. I want to focus on the things that are important to me and let go of the things that are not. I want to align my purpose with my actions and not let the fear of missing out or the need for validation from others dictate my choices.
But which purpose? That’s something I’m figuring out. For example, I’ve always wanted to have some kind of webpage for myself, where I can share my thoughts and ideas with the world. But I never took the time to do it, because I was afraid of what others would think, or because I didn’t know where to start, or even worse, looking for the most efficient framework, programming language, or hosting service (well-known paralysis by analysis). But now, I’m trying to overcome that fear and the need for perfection and calculation, and just start doing it. I want to share my thoughts and ideas with the world and see where it takes me.
I don’t know, maybe it has to do with the fact that now I live on my own, and I have to take care of myself and the ones I care about. Maybe it’s just a phase, but I feel like I’m in a transition period, and I’m trying to figure out who I am and what I want to do with my life. I’m not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but I’m trying to embrace it and see where it takes me.